Saying “YES” When You Really Mean “YES”, and Saying “NO” When You Really Mean “NO”

We are combining yoga and psychology to determine your true boundaries. Yoga invites us to quiet our minds so that we can listen.  It allows us to connect deeply with what we truly want.  Psychology incorporates various strategies to create and ultimately maintain appropriate boundaries. We will use both modalities to discover how to have more effective limits in your life, in order to feel authentic and powerful in each and every interaction. There is something in this workshop for everyone who ever struggles with setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries in their personal and professional lives.

Here are the details: May 2nd, from 1-4 p.m., at The New Leaf Club, 1225 Montrose Avenue, Bryn Mawr, PA 19010. The cost for the workshop is $50. Please RSVP to me at [email protected] if you can come so we know how many chairs to set out there to welcome you! No mats or previous yoga experience necessary. Feel free to wear comfortable clothing–we can’t wait to see you.

Dr. Amy Alfred is a licensed psychologist in Narberth with 25 years of experience.  She sees individuals, couples, and groups who come in with a variety of concerns, including self-esteem, relationship issues, anxiety, depression, conflict resolution, grief and loss, abuse, and chronic illness.  Amy finds that a common thread underlying many of these issues is the need to create and maintain appropriate boundaries for optimal functioning.

Julie Pogachefsky has been teaching yoga since 2001.  She received her 200 hour teaching certification at Wake Up Yoga and her 500 hour Pranakriyateaching certification from Yoganand/Michael Carroll.  Julie is also certified to teach Yin Yoga and is in the process of finishing her PranakriyaYoga Therapy Teaching Certification. Julie challenges your mind to expand beyond its current ideals and perceptions in order for you to find more space and freedom in all aspects of your life.    

Our Boundaries Define Who We Are

— by Amy Alfred, Ph.D.

Many people come into my office feeling resentful of those around them who do not respect their boundaries.

When did you last say “yes” when what you really wished to say was “no”? And when you did that, do you remember feeling joyful and passionate about the experience, or a bit frustrated and resentful about it?

Valuing yourself and your time by saying “no” can be very difficult for many people. But saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” can lead to some negative consequences.

A boundary is anything that indicates or fixes a limit, like a personal property line, or a membrane that keeps an organism intact. The many different kinds of boundaries include physical, emotional, time, relationship, work, parent and spiritual ones. In order to feel balanced, it is important to know your own and others’ approaches to setting boundaries.

Key areas of our lives are protected when we use appropriate boundaries: time, emotions, energy, personal values or other areas of importance to you.

We teach people how to treat us: For example, some of us inadvertently send messages telling people that we are available for them, when in fact we are not.

So how can we create effective personal boundaries?

  • Be clear about the boundary both to yourself and others. Once the boundary has been crossed, remind the person of your boundary and ask for help in maintaining that boundary.
  • If the person continues to violate the boundary, ask firmly and politely for the behavior to stop. If it continues, consider what further action is needed to stop the behavior.
  • Identify ways to position yourself in a time and place that minimizes the opportunity for your boundaries to be crossed.
  • Thank those people around you who honor your boundaries.
  • Always try to understand and honor the boundaries of those around you.

Dr. Amy Alfred is a licensed psychologist and maintains a private practice in Narberth, Pennsylvania. You may contact her at [email protected], or at her office, 610-755-2929.