Should My Husband’s Text Messages Be Private?

— by Aron Moss, rabbi of the Nefesh Community in Sydney, Australia, and a frequent contributor to Chabad.org. Reprinted with permission of Chabad.org, the Judaism website.

Question: Are text messages private? My husband and I have a major disagreement over this. He gets furious when I look at his phone, saying I have no business reading his private messages. I feel that as a married couple we should have nothing to hide from each other. I am not saying I am at all suspicious of him, I completely trust him. But should his inbox be totally out of bounds to me?

Answer: The answer to your quandary is right there in front of you — on your finger. Just look at your wedding ring.

A ring represents the ideal relationship. It wraps itself snugly around the finger. It has to fit securely, otherwise it will fall off and get lost. But at the same time, a well-fitted ring should not cramp the finger. It can’t be so tight as to cut off circulation. A comfortable ring will hug the finger, not strangle it.

This delicate balance of holding on tight, but not too tight, is the balance required in a marriage. Being married means being intimate. When we are in love, we want to embrace our spouses on all levels, surrounding them with care and showering them with affection. We want to share every experience and explore every layer of their being. We want to hold them tight and be there for them every second of the day.

But this devotion can go overboard. […]

See more at Chabad.org.

Share:

Leave a Reply